MEGATASK: the baritone ukulele

Our megatask today involves an instrument known as the baritone ukulele.  While most of us know about ukuleles, I, for one, was uninformed about the mighty baritone ukulele until fairly recently.

I suppose a good place to start would be by addressing the question likely burning in your mind, which is, 'WTF is a baritone ukulele?'  Good question.  Here's the answer:  it's a ukulele 3/4 the size of a typical acoustic guitar, using the same tuning as a regular guitar (minus the two fat strings, leaving you with DGBE).

So, from here, one has to wonder what advantage one gets from playing a baritone ukulele instead of a 3/4-size guitar.  I mean, you're giving up two entire strings of usable bass sound and one third of your rocking power, so there'd have to be some kind of benefit, right?

Well, there are some benefits.  The first one is easier chords and switches.  G and Em on a baritone ukulele are ridiculously easy.  Most chords only require one or two finger placements, which is nice, especially if you're just starting out.  Me, I'd already been playing for seven or eight years when I discovered the baritone ukulele, so this didn't help me out a whole lot, but if I had to start over, I'd start by learning on a baritone uke.  Let's have some lists.

Advantages of Baritone Uke vs. Standard Uke
-with no capo, can get most guitar notes (still missing E and A strings)
-with capo 5, can play regular-ukulele style
-it's bigger, so you don't look like a tool holding one
-uses guitar tuning, so it's a very easy switch for people who already can play guitar

Advantages of Baritone Uke vs. Travel-size (3/4-size) guitar
-easier chords and transitions (because there are fewer strings)
-'plucky' ukulele sound
-few people have them, so you'll be unique
-often cheaper than guitars
-more space between strings!

Disadvantages of a Baritone Ukulele
-most guitar shops don't stock them
-strings must be specially ordered (more on this later...)
-don't usually have plug-ins (ukes usually don't, but many acoustic guitars do)
-if you know how to play a regular ukulele, but not a guitar, the tuning could be confusing for you
-because there are only 4 strings, some chords which are differentiated on a guitar won't be on a uke (ex. C can use the same formation as Am7 on a baritone uke)
-the aforementioned extra space between strings might take a little getting used to for a guitar player

an interview with squareENIX translators

Thanks to Nick for finding this for me.  This is a cool interview with translators/localizers who have worked on SquareENIX games. 

Interview: Kajiya Productions on Translating Final Fantasy

a news article about fonts

As you know if you know me, or as you'll know in a second if you don't know me, I am crazy about fonts and typography.  So, when I find things pertaining to this subject, it makes me happy.  Without further ado, here's the article:

Mistakes in Typography Grate the Purists

Dirt. Noise. Crowds. Delays. Scary smells. Even scarier fluids swirling on the floor. There are lots of reasons to loathe the New York City subway, but one very good reason to love it — Helvetica, the typeface that’s used on its signage. Click to read the rest.

knit cap man

A few years ago, Mato (of Mother 3 Translation-fame) posted this video for the song Knit Cap Man by the Moonriders.  Shigesato Itoi, the man behind the Mother games, wrote the lyrics for this song.  And, what's more, you can sing it on karaoke in Japan, though it's highly unlikely anybody will recognize it.

Anyway, watching this makes me sad and natsukashii. 

all these star wars

Yeah, I know it's been around for a while, but this was the first time I'd seen it.  This clip from Upright Citizens Brigade, I mean, not Star Wars.  Anyway, if you haven't heard of it, you can check it out below in all its glory thanks to the magic of YouTube.

the very first rickroll...

...took place 14 years ago with the release of the SNES role-playing game Chrono Trigger.  Don't believe me?  Check out this awesomely-rendered version of Robo's theme done in Mario Paint.  Why is this a rickroll?  I suggest you listen to find out.  If you're still skeptical, I suggest you play through the game again (I say 'again' because it was one of the best games ever made, so I'm assuming you've played it).

MEGATASK: bind your own paperback books

So today's megatask is making your own paperback books.  My inspiration came from this page, which I suppose you could read instead of this one if you were so inclined.  Why would you want to make your own paperback books?  Well, with the advent of e-books, this can be a way to have your prose-flavored cake and eat it, too, or, perhaps you've written your own book and you'd like to see it take on a physical form.

Regardless of your motivations for doing so, making your own books is pretty great and not all that hard to do.  If you don't have all the tools/materials readily available, it will require a little outlay in the area of 100 bucks, but most of the stuff can be used and re-used.  Here's what you need and why:

Printer - this one's obvious.  It's a book, so it'll need to be printed on two sides.  If your printer already does this, that's easy and great.  If it doesn't, you might have to fool around with printing odd- then even-numbered pages to get it to looking like you want.  You'll have to format your document to get the size you want and have it line up properly on both sides if you're not making an 8x11-size book. 

Ink - printing books uses up a lot of ink.  Make sure you have enough.

Paper - why limit yourself to plain white paper?  Some 20lb ivory or other off-color paper might be a good investment here.

Card stock - makes a good, cheap cover for your book.  Regular paper-size will work if you're making a smaller book, but don't forget to get something bigger if you're making a bigger book.

Paper cutter - scissors just won't work.  You need precision if you want your pages to line up with the cover and bind properly.

Glue - the aforementioned blog recommends Gorilla Glue.  I do, too.  It's cheap, it works, and you can get it at Home Depot, so why use anything else?

Sandpaper - is optional, but it'll make for a cleaner finished product.  You can use this to roughen up the edges of the paper before gluing and afterwards to sand down the corners of the book after the glue pops out.

Cotton swabs - are for applying water and glue to the surfaces that need gluing.

Clamps - actually, one clamp will suffice.  It doesn't have to be big, just something large enough to clamp a few pieces of scrap wood to a table.

Scrap wood - you'll have some glue popping out of the edges of the book during the binding process, so a few pieces of this will help prevent ruining some nice piece of furniture.  If you want to get all fancy you can fashion an actual book-binder, but I'm not that motivated.  Are you?

Yeah, I know, now that you have all the materials you can pretty much figure the rest out for yourself, but in the interests of completion I will outline a little step-by-step just in case you're like me and need some direction.

Print up your book.  Things typical books have: title page, copyright page, table of contents, page numbers, etc.  Don't forget to alternate which side your page numbers appear on.  While you're printing stuff, print a cover.  Traditionally, this will contain the title of the book and the author.

Cut out your book.  Me, I made four at a time, but the formatting took forever.  Still, I feel like it saved paper.  Just make sure to leave a good margin of somewhere from one inch to a half-inch on all sides of the print, keeping in mind that the glue will take up some space on the left-hand margin.

Cut out your cover.  Fold it so it covers your entire book, and consider making it about 1mm too long on each end because the glue expands.

Clamp and glue and clamp.  Line up your pages and clamp them together, sand the surface where the glue will go, dampen it with a cotton swab (optional), and sand the inside fold where the cover will meet the paper and dampen this area too (optional), then comes the gluing.  Using another cotton swab, apply a thin layer of glue to each surface.  It doesn't require a lot of glue, but you do want to make sure both surfaces are completely covered.

Clamp it.  While I've seen other sites saying this will take 12-24 hours, I used white Gorilla Glue and it was pretty much dry w/in one hour.  Make sure you clamp it tightly, because this glue will swell and bubble right out of the edges of the book, which is good.

Unclamp it.  You can tear off the excess hardened glue and sand down the corners, and, if you're really feeling ambitious, you can sand down all the paper edges of the book to make the pages more flush.

Congratulations!  You've made a book.  Washing your hands 100 times to get the dust and glue off (don't get this glue on your hands to begin with; it'll dye your skin) is optional, but compulsively recommended.

MEGATASK: learn to (not) play guitar

Yet again, you find yourself drinking alone in your crummy apartment because another girlfriend has left you for a goddamned musician.  As always, he's a scruffy guitarist with no money and no redeeming qualities.  This gets you thinking, 'Hey, I bet I could play the guitar, and then I could be that douchebag getting all the play.'

I've got good news for you, friend:  it can be done, and it isn't all that hard.

The first thing to do is go out and get yourself a guitar.  Since you don't have one already, I'm assuming a few things about you:

1.  You DO have a job.

2.  You DON'T have a goatee.

3.  You're NOT an alcoholic.

So, go to your local guitar store and get the prettiest, coolest, most expensive guitar you can afford.  Should you lack funds for some reason, spend at least 100 dollars on a decent acoustic guitar.  Next, refer to the list above and rectify these problems.  Quit your job, stop shaving, and pick up that bottle.  You want to get women, right?  They love scruffy drunks.  Bonus points if you're abusive.

Now, just having a guitar doesn't make you a guitarist.  You have to let everybody know you're a guitarist.  This means pictures of you holding the guitar, making a crazy face like you're really rocking.  Put these on your Facebook page (even better, sign up for MySpace if you haven't already, this is the digital epicenter for third-tier musicians) and make sure to include captions about how much you love rocking out.

I know you're just itching to start playing the guitar and learning things, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.  Before you learn how to play guitar, you have to start a band.  Relax, anyone who's ever played Rock Band once or twice is totally qualified to start a band.  Just go to Guitar Center and tell some people you're working on this 'side-project' that's a mix of Pink Floyd, Ozzy, and The Commodores.  This will suggest to them that you're awesome and they should join your band.

Once you've recruited three or four hardy souls, you need to name your band.  Any combination of the following words will suffice:  demon, soul, black, knife, blast, edge.  Leave out the space between words, throw the letter 'y' in there a few times, and you're rolling.

Examples:  demynEDGE, KnyfeBlast, blacKnyfe...

Probably band naming is a megatask deserving of its own article.  Something to consider.

Again, hold your horses, it's not time to start learning how to play yet.  No, now that you have a band, you need to start gigging out.  Find a bar, stand at the mic holding your glorious guitar, and just keep asking, "Everybody feelin' good?  Everybody ready to ROCK?"  If your band starts playing behind you, just scream incoherently and pretend to play the guitar.

Don't ACTUALLY play the guitar, or people will realize that you suck.

Now, the next step is not to learn how to play, no the next step is to think like a guitarist.  Rather than writing/learning songs, the average musician spends all day on craigslist.org bitching about other musicians and making posts riddled with grammatical and syntax errors. 

Are you drunk right now?  No?  Clearly you haven't been paying attention, and I'm already starting to question your commitment.  Pop open a beer.  Now.  I'll wait. 

There we go.  Now we're rolling.  Now that you're gigging, it's time to think about expanding your band's horizons.  Here are some ways to do this:  make a music video using a digital camcorder and post it on YouTube and the aforementioned MySpace, make demos, spam thousands of random people to become your fans, enter some Battle of the Bands competitions and hand out lots of those demos.

By now, you've probably got a recording contract and some groupies.  If you have any energy left, you can now learn to play the guitar.

MEGATASK: getting a job in japan

If you're like me (and I suspect you're just like me, because I suffer from a major deficit in the imagination department) your dream is to live and work in Japan.  Why?  Well, the women are beautiful, the food is awesome, and the women are beautiful.

They've also got temples and shrines, if you're into that.

Anyway, the main difficulty in getting a job in Japan is that it's, well, in Japan.  You'll need a visa and someone to sponsor it.  Speaking Japanese is not as necessary as you might think.  It's much more beneficial to have some kind of 4-year degree, as this will make a big difference when applying for that visa.

As we live in the future, none of us will undertake any megatasks that don't make use of computers and the internet.  That's just the way it goes, so this megatask posting will take the form of a list of helpful links to allow you to search for your dream job in Japan.

GaijinPot

http://www.gaijinpot.com/

You can browse all kinds of job listings on this site, and they've also got info about apartments.  Also has many useful forums.

DaiJob

http://www.daijob.com/en/

A pun on the Japanese word daijoubu (it's okay/I'm okay), this site features many Japanese-related jobs and jobs in Japan.  Geared more toward the professional crowd.

MRJapanese

http://www.mrjapanese.com/

These are actually Japan-related jobs in the US, but some of them may involve travel to Japan.  It seems to have a large focus on manufacturing and factory-type jobs.

Q-Jin

http://www.q-jin.com/

Almost the same thing as the MRJapanese listed above, but their site seems to be pretty inactive lately.  It's a very pretty website, though.

Now, for those of you who have any experience in this field, there's a certain type of job in Japan that will earn you the contempt of your peers, namely, being an English teacher.  Why?  Because you make pretty decent money to do something easy, and you don't really need to know anything about anything to do this job.  Anyway, if you have some kind of degree and your job/life sucks, this can be a good change of pace.  Here are some links to get you started.

Aside from doing JET, some of the drawbacks to these jobs are:  you may have to commute, they'll want you to sell things, and you'll probably work weird hours for which they'll pay you a full-time salary and report you as part-time to avoid having to give you full health insurance.  With the recent economic downturn, you may want to sniff around the intertubes to find out specifically how each company is screwing over their respective employees.

JET Program

http://www.us.emb-japan.go.jp/JET/

The Japanese Embassies are heavily involved in this, and it probably involves the easiest gig with the best benefits and highest pay.  The only downside is that you have a good chance of ending up in some desolate, backwater village.

GEOS

http://www.geos.co.jp/

One of the large English-teaching companies (Eikaiwa) in Japan.  A google search for 'geos english' can help you get more specific info.

AEON

http://www.aeonet.com/

Another of the larger English-teaching companies in Japan.

ECC

http://www.japanbound.com/

Yet another large English-teaching company in Japan.

You'll notice I didn't include anything about monster.com or craigslist.org.  They're not completely useless, but as time goes on they both get inundated with more and more spam/fake/scam job postings, so I'd only use them as a last resort.

If you've got your own useful tips, feel free to include them in the comments.  Good luck!

more on 3D dot game heroes

I can't get over this game.  I stumbled across a video of it about a week ago and now I can't get it out of my head.  I want this.  I need this.  I need to find a way to live in a world where things like this don't only exist in Japan, or to find a way for me to exist in Japan concurrently with this game and the playing thereof by me.

UPDATE: apparently, this game IS coming to the US!  Awesome.  That gives me 2 reasons to get a PS3...

pop-up lego kinkakuji

This is probably the coolest lego-related thing I've ever seen.  This guy built a lego version of Kinkakuji (the Temple of the Golden Pavilion) encased in its own awesome lego box.  You should watch the whole video, or at least keep watching until you crap your pants from the sweetness of this super-neato thing.

And to tell you the truth, I don't know how he does it.  I understand Japanese, I understand Legos, he explains it, and he shows how it works, and I still don't get it.  It's some kind of special physics and maths that are beyond my ken.

I imagine the construction of this would qualify as a megatask.

i've been rendered utterly speechless

I have no idea what to make of this, it's just, it's just...completely ridiculous.  I don't know if I'm repulsed or horrified or impressed by this.  While I'm not rushing out to buy a Wii just to play this game, it has me strangely mesmerized, like a train wreck.  Cant...look...away...

a legend of zelda remake of super mario world

This is a megatask if I ever saw one.  I found this a few months ago.  There's a group of people who make hacks of Super Mario World, and this one is my favorite.  There's a whole series of these videos where this person has hacked just about every aspect of Link to the Past into its own game using the SMW engine.  Unfortunately, it looks like the project was abandoned half a year ago.

Still, if it's ever finished, I'll be first in the queue to check it out.

hello, people of the internet

Actually, we've already met, you and I.  I saw you last week when I was at the post office.  You were picking your teeth with an envelope while you talked on your hands-free headset.  Do I think you were attractive?  I don't know, maybe.  Maybe a little.

Today's progress involved tooling around with the colors and settings a little bit and making a placeholder logo for the page.  As things progress, keep in mind that anything you see on the page now is subject to change, and probably will.

the death of peachycomics (sort of)

I'm sure you've noticed just how sporadic peachycomics posts were getting. There were multiple reasons for this: Edgar (my computer) getting older and taking longer to handle FrontPage, the sheer magnitude of junk on peachycomics making updates take longer, and the increasingly complex hassle of formatting everything. All of this made for a hellish 30-minute process for me every time I wanted to throw a few words onto the 'net.

Couple that with advances in internet technology that have occurred in the 6.5 years since I started the site and you can see that it couldn't go on like that forever. It just couldn't. So in order to save time and hassle all around, I've decided to phase peachycomics out. Starting today, I'm going to start cannibalizing the useful site content (which I'd estimate was only about 10%, overall, anyway) and putting it in back-dated posts on megatasker.blogspot.com.

Really, though, peachycomics was kind of a dumb name for a website, to tell you the truth. After trying dozens of domain names, it was the only simple name I could think of. When I stop renewing the domain, I imagine it will fade into search-spam oblivion.

Am I sad about it? Hell yeah, but we've gotta move on, gotta embrace the future with outstretched arms so as to not become obsolete. There will be benefits to the new page, to be sure. For one, I'll finally be able to post at work, where I have the most free time and motivation to do posts. And without having to spend hours and hours resolving technical issues, I'll have more time to focus on writing, which was the point of all of this in the first place.

So, in short, it's time to look forward. If you've got questions, send them to jbaugher@rocketmail.com or post them in the comments.

acoustic cover - king without a crown

For me, this song will always be the Pittsburgh Steelers' theme song.  I remember this day, a few years back, during a lackluster season, when the Steelers absolutely had to win to get a wild card spot in the playoffs, and went on to win seven or eight games in a row (including the Super Bowl).  But it all had to start with that one game, and when the Steelers finally pulled it off, the radio guy on the X was ecstatic and played this song in celebration.

So, when I hear it, I always think back to that day.  Throw in the fact that it has ridiculously complicated vocals and a Jewish band playing reggae, and I think it's no surprise that I'd love this song and want to cover it.  Love Matisyahu.